Multiple Personalities

I really liked selling cars at first. It's a hard job, but it's not difficult. It takes long hours and a lot of work, but it's not challenging work. It's more like loading boxes onto a truck...easy to do but still hard work. There are a lot of cool aspects to the job. You have an office but aren't in it very much (some places will fire you for spending too much time in it), you get to be outside a lot, and despite micro-management on an insane level in some aspects, you still have lots of freedom.

About a year and a half in, it was like a switch flipped. I came home one day fine and dandy with my job, and the next day I went to work and immediately began to hate it. All of it, every part of my job except for some of my friends. I just simply couldn't stand it. 8 months later, I still can't pinpoint exactly what it was that triggered the emotional 180. I worked at an awesome dealership (for the most part), worked with mostly nice people and could ignore the ones I didn't like, made good money.

I finally figured out what turned me around though. No specific incident, I just got tired of lies. Mangers lie to me, salesmen lie to each other, I lie to customers, and customers lie to me. It's such a jacked-up process, and I started feeling tainted by it. I am a very honest person, and I hate lying to people like that.

A little while ago I parted ways with my first dealership, and even though I found another place to work, I am still looking another dealership to work at. I hope to do this through the summer and then start a real job, with a salary and everything. It would be nice to get paid for being at work, instead of months like this where I can show up for work every day and not make a dime.

But I still get excited when I am working a deal. It's like a legal drug or solving an intensely difficult riddle. I hate my job except for those few brief moments, and it scares me sometimes that I might actually miss that.